today woke up at 8+ to go school for drill training. then like dunno why i woke up even before the sun rose up, then i just lay there for awhile more xD.okok very useless, skip skip skip then reached school at about 9.55am. then nv see any squadmates there( why am i not surprised..xD) then wait, wait, wait, and waited for about 25min, simin come. then about 5 min later junjie and zhiqi come. then about another 5 min later jiele come. thats bout all le xP. then originally wanted to drill in the field but they say too hot, so looked around for somewhere to drill then found the hall empty, so just decided to use it^^. we dam dua pai lor, 5 people book the whole hall and on all the fans xD then started drilling, was sort of weird, then found out how bored our ncos must have felt. we only knew a few commands lor, when i was the commander only keep homad them, and turn there only, quite sian bah xP. then we didn't drill for very long la, after awhile tried standing broad jump, dunno why the more i jump then shorter my distance is O.o. yaya then after alot of drilling and jump and *ah hem* abit of slacking, we went to try incline pullups. then saw our sirs,mams, seniors and mr oh, apparently they were on some course xP then mr oh saw us? we didn't dare to do incline bar cos they were so close, confirm see us >_<. then went back to drill, then mr oh came and talked to us, freaky, he walk without sound de lol.

after while went to JEC for lunch and dunno-whatever xP. went to kobayashi for lunch, first time eat there, very nice leh their food, and cheap also ^^. then yeah i was quite sian, dunno why i dun want to talk de, bleh...then they said they wanted to watch mr bean's hols then i didn't bring money >_> lol then in the end nv watch le. oh ya, while we were eating anabelle came, she very pro lor, 10am supposed to meet 1.30pm come lol. then quite sian cos dunno what to do or where to go bleh...quickly went home and reached bout 3+..wah sia. went our for 6 hrs and only bout 1/6 of it was useful lol. dunno what to blog le, guess i'll leave it for next time bah, cya!

kept getting scolded these few days, i guess i have to post sth bout it? got scolded by ms ek, well actually not scolded la. sort of felt guilty?our class and 2J got pointed out as the 2 class that made the most noise. i have no idea how they see our class made the most noise though, cos we were like sort of seperated? anyway, that professor very nice guy lor, he actually apologised to us sia, saying sorry that his talk was too difficult. i dunno what to say now? ms ek said that she didn't talk through a dunno how long lecture in greek, she slept through it. so does it mean that we should have slept through the talk? cos i really wished i did that, cos i was trying to not fall asleep as well i guess its disrespectful and he would think that his talk was really that boring. so obviously thats the wrong choice of action as well if half of the people in the LT fell asleep. dunno la, are we in the wrong? i have no idea? or is it just that i can't think now?

hai still got alot more la, but i don't want to post bout it le. i just wondering how our class turned out like this sia. i feel like we're in a war, we're in the teacher's blacklist, have to be careful from now on. went around reading's my classmates' blogs, the teachers won't just let it end like this will they? i dunno if i will support kendrick if anything happens. actually, i will support him, but i doubt i can help him to defend the class and argue, heck. who cares. i'll just try. to think bout it hor, it kinda reminds me of last year where we had the really really *ahem* teacher miss lee, kendrick tried to defend the class, ningqian helped, but the rest of the class didn't. guess we didn't dare? i really felt like slapping her so much, pfft...shan't talk but this anymore.

ahs, we'll see what continue to happen^^. I dunno why, but i seem to be very fan, sian, lei, and stressed lately

did you know that i really hated to see you so down? and i couldn't cheer you up as well, it really makes me think that i failed in my duty sia...

finally there was school today, had chinese first which we did gong han, was pretty easy since i could get help from ppl around mexP.then was...sci? er..lesson wasn't that interesting, it was about acids and alkalines, didn't get it much though, must revise for chem test! oh ya still got the chem presentation, die die. my oral always like shit de. then afterwards a sudden change in timetable led us to assembly. where a professer came and talked to people we weren't interested. oops =X if i teacher sees this i'm so dead xD, anyway, most of us weren't interested in what he was talking bout, neither could we understand much of it. i knew it was about mao ze dong's ideas whether if its bout communism i dunno. yeah so most of us grew restless, and started talking, and some even sleeping (names protected for the sake of their life=X). then got scolded my mr chua for not paying attention, guess it was really our fault? i mean its our fault then we couldn't pay attention throughout the 2 hour talk right? After that was home econs. got scolded for having such long nails xD oh well, my nails just may be the longest in the school xP i dun like to cut sia, its like my nails are so useful, and its not exactly dirty or looks unneat anyway...made hamburgers, then ermm it didn't taste that well, i think it was undercooked? dunno la, but if cook longer outside chao da liao, heck, want make sphaghetti, and hopefully it will be nicer. then stole a class list from kendrick's bag(hope he doesn't mind^^) and handed up the $33 for our class. then quickly rush to LT sth sth for the chi movie. the movie wasn't that bad? its about zheng cheng gong, i think i saw a different movie about it be4 on tv sia..oh well, it was quite interesting i guess. Then some people were very lame *ah hem* then i was wondering when the dutch guy got hit at his private part can so fast recover 1 lor, like bo taiji like that, then keep hitting its still like not pain at allxD. went hope after that, was talking bout class chalet on the bus with bingle aaron and wangzhe. i want to have another class chalet soon! SO FUN!!! and hopefully will have more things to play other than xbox, i don't mind gambling throughout the whole chalet though, hehe.

I really feel like scolding you awake. I really feel like slapping the rest of you awake. wtf lor, i'm there to bai mei 1 right? piang la...*haiz*, what an annoying curse i've got here...

lol, current status in studying : 50% below average. which is sucky, grr, left my book in school, cannot revise, diaoz...very fan, i want to do sth interesting sia...and hor, WHY IS EVERYBODY SAYING THAT THE BLOG SONG SUCKS?!!! i think its nice de lor, but everybody says it doesn't fit the blogskin. wth la, my blogskin is not meant to be emo/gothic/depressing, its meant to be NICE. my post are abit erm...not on the optimistic side but my blogskin ROCKS HOR, ITS NOT A SAD ONE, IT IS A BEAUTIFUL 1, YOU GET IT?GET IT?!!!

must finish doing my hmwk sooner or later sia...i must really study hard to get into top 33% ...hai. my plans for june holidays
- try writing a maple fanfic xD
- practice drawing
- maybe learn music
- study
- chiong maple^^
- improve fitness
- go out and play xP

oh well, can't find much stuff to post, so i guess this is all ^^lll

bleh...today also nth much la during PE realised i had to run 6 rounds in 13mins, thats what our teacher told us anyway, but we were asked to run 3 rounds, i finished in 6min 27s, each round must run in 2min 10s, which means i made it by 3s, xDD ok very lame...xP nth much happened la, just that i was daydreaming again during hist xP hai dunno why i so sian during hist. Geog we were slacking as for duno what reason we finished the project that needs to be handed up last so were slacking throughout.

hrmm then still got what..oh ya CID noticed sth interesting. Mr faizad seems to be able to see that i'm there physically but i'm not there mentally xP when most teachers would think i'm paying attention..or maybe deep in thought? O.o can't rmb le lar.

Today during swimming mostly slacked around, swam abit only la, got 14 for my assessment, so low-.- B only.. yeah then played for awhile. Felt so digusted during swimming and after swimming today. arghhh, buay ta han la, i chose to look away, i actually felt better when i did that.

I think i'm getting colder and colder. not lame that kind of cold, but emotionless that kind of cold. i think i know why thats happening le, mplitihy esqr rl gxaxkg jyqxha, thats why i should try to resist anymore, its not doing me anygood. but i bu fu. why is it I must give up every time?i just bu fu. i'm immature and so are you. you are a freaking sadist as well(er...not refering to you if u are thinking i'm talking about you now, and others, don't worry bout not understanding this, cos you aren't suppose to xD.) dunno leh, i should be moving on now. It seems that i see wrong ppl le. heh. seems bah. heh.

ok, pia hmwk now! tml road marshalling, hehehehehe again yeah. leaving at 12.30 la, dun want blog le, cya!

Zzz slept at 1+ last night, omg!!! to do my maths newsletter la, and the standard of my newsletter is still way below what i expected. Zzz freak lor, i spent effort on doing this, then my microsoft word had to screw up..i dunno whats wrong la, cannot add background, then grr...hai maths fail liao, I MUST GET HIGH SCORES YEAR!!MUST GET INTO TOP 33% SO I CAN TAKE 4 MODULES!!! or whatever dunno if it is modules or not xP. kept noding off in class today, very tired, and break+history is a bad combination lol. shan't past on today, pretty much the same.

hrmmm my personality? i dunno whats up with me lor,am i nice person? i don't know if i am, it just seems to me that there will always be people with no conscience and out to take advantage of nice people. Isn't it possible to be nice and not have this kind of people around?-.- i really hate getting aped sia, i'm even more irritated when some people think they can ap me cos i won't get angry -.-" when i get angry you better run for your life...I really can't figure out what happened to me during upper pri school. I have no idea why did i change so drasticly and so much in such a short period of time. Some of you might hear this before, 'Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching' , its like i forgot how to do any of that or things similar to that after that. I forgot how to laugh like i'm really happy, I forgot how to stay cheerful, but you know whats the worst and the most irritating thing i forgot? Not only did i forgot how to make myself smile, i forgot how to make other people smile.Haiz.I really miss those smiles i see on those faces sia.What exactly did happen to me? I really miss the old days...let me tell u all 1 thing that might shock most of you, xD The thing that i loved to do most in the past is fighting, hehe^^. I want go out and play sia, with my friends of course, since anything is boring without them xD. Long post i know hehe, ok since i came to the topic of my friends, am i a good friend? kk, i won't be bu yao lian and post my good points here, i'll just put the bad ones. Its like sometimes i'm just lazy to talk to most of my friends...dunno why la, is it because i'm taking them for granted? hope not...I dunno what am i doing. I will change de, but i need support as well...as i will support them when they need it^^.

It's not that i can't trust people,its just that its so complicated(no idea if its my fault though) and i can't afford to lose...

Suddenly i feel so lucky wenzhong is in our group xD He thought up of a topic so fast for geog and we finished geog like its a piece of cake lol. i guess thats all for today, cya!

ah..i'll quickly go through the details of yesterday. went to harry's hostel to do project. okok so went to clementi mrt to wait for guyue, found out that my hp dunno why spoil spoil 1, call cannot call send sms cannot send then just stand there wait. Then finally saw harry there. ok skip skip skip, yuan lai his hostel at NUS lol..weird, why he live at NUS dun want study at NUS go RV?

ok then started doing, i still left alot of hmwk yesterday la...then harry was playing abit, then waited for wenzhong to come. then ya just started doing lor, then i completed my work liao, then harry accidentally deleted my work-.-" then i had to redo *hai* yeah then keep slack abit, play abit, and work. oh ya, wenzhong cut my finger with a pen knife then i keep bleeding-.- my blood very red leh.. yep then soon anyhow walk with wenzhong around to find food, then we somehow found a mall and ate kfc, discussed some interesting stuff lol. then as expected we got lost-.-
" then his mother had to come to fetch us xP tyty. ok this is very brief^^

last night got really annoyed at my mum. cos like i'm chionging hmwk into the late of the night. then she starts scolding me. alot of personal stuff la. i know making money is hard now, and our financial status isn't that good either, but then i have good parents that don't trouble me with these stuff. i promised to get good results these term, but can you don't trouble me with all those stuff like reminding me again and again how hard it is, its like it only adds stress, and my parents can no longer help me with my hmwk now, all i depend on in myself or my friends sia... hai. can make big money i don't want? can live a comfortable life i dun want? u talking crap lor, of course i want. u scold me for doing so late into the night. but what for i do until so late into the night? what for i wake up so early in the morning? what for i do hmwk after hmwk and project after project? its all for you. cos i need to get good results to get a good job as you said. i promised you i will get good results. i don't break my promises, if i can say it, i'll do it, whatever problems that come up during the way is my problem. I'll do it cos i'm forever indebted to my parents. so can you please stop adding stress to me and distracting me by saying all those stuff? Sometimes i wish i have a room of my own. then i can wake up at 3 to do my hmwk. its like whats the point of sleeping when hmwk is unfinished-.-"

dunno why people say the blog song dun fit. its not like my blog is black-themed. its like black and white and balanced lor. actually not white la. looks more like light and dark, all the white has this glowy and slight decrease in opacity effect, and i think the light and dark in my blog is balanced =P

now going to do my maths newsletter, i sent an email to her yesterday xP

neng neng bu neng zai kao jin yi dian dian...

its already saturday, and my hmwk is half finished. my CID work i added 1 of my groups members in msn(i have no way to contact them) and till now he still haven't accepted it yet-.-" my maths is half done, i've got all the information needed. geog is done i guess. LA supposed to meet up today to do the report only left that le, but there was some problem, so cannot today so confirm must tml go lor. sci is really frustrating la, without meeting up, its hard for me to do sia...and i've typed up a bunch of crap that doesn't reach the standards that i want. today i must finish all the scrap hmwk. tml shall finish report and see still left what.

i'm beginning to get so dependent on somebody sia...to that person who might or might not know who you are, thanks alot^^.nowadays keep playing maple, and there's news, my FP mage after 8 months finally lved up xD. and i also started another white knight-to-be. hai got alot of problems, but i just keep running away. i can already see that miserable fate, yet i'm too afraid to do anything. in the past i mentioned that the reason i can't do this i can't do that is because i'm restricted, i'm lazy, i'm tired its too hard, but none of them actually hit the spot, now i finally see why, i am scared. its hard to beat this fear...cos i cannot afford to lose...

A big thanks to all my friends^^

today went to orchard road to buy books (under the orders of mr wong, grr...i still dislike that teacher). then dunno why i went to play maple then play play play till 12.15 , then quickly eat lunch and bath and chiong to JE mrt. then i thought i late lor, i reach at 12.46 (lol 1 minute also time ok?) then nobody there-.-" i call aaron then they say next stop reach liao. Then the train come liao i was standing there then gang hao i stand in front of the carriage then the girls came out. lol then yingxue, tx, kathy, jesslyn, yulu came out of the train (didn't see tianqi leh). then ya they decided to go on without the boys first, then xie men dao aaron and bingle take the same train as the girls but different carriage. then bingle and aaron went downstairs then i call them come up, then like that miss the train -.-" then next train come liao, they tell me nid to wait for wangzhe -__- which is like cycling from his house to bukit batok mrt, then next train passed by, wangzhe come liao then we can finally go *yay!* ah hem...

Then when we reach right, SOME people very bo liao go take pictures -.-" next time that happens there will be live demonstrations with our 'vounlunteers' on how those enunches in the past felt like xD
then wangzhe actually brought his laptop there leh, and after alot of crapping and a long ride and a bit of searching, we finally reached orchard mrt and found the girls xP. then walk walk walk, then in the end we walked 1 big round cos of BINGLE!! he tell us walk that way lor, then in the end walked 1 big round for nth, then after awhile reach the bookshop le. Then i also dunno what book to buy then i suddenly rmbed the dragonlance series books, then surprisingly its just on the next shelf i was standing LOL. then there were like 3 shelves full of books la, i didn't know the authors wrote so much sia..got so many volumes and plots and stories, and most of the books are trilogies-.- then 1 book is like round $17 but we have discount 20% then i was thinking of buying 2 books, but in the end decided not to and bought volume 3 of a series without reading volume 1 and 2, lol just like what i did with the earlier dragonlance book i bought. then went burger king to eat, aiya skip skip skip! why this post sian sian 1...

then the girls eat very slow lor, we were standing outside the orchard road mrt eating ice cream lol. then we walk in liao waiting for wangzhe to buy his ticket then the girls arrive. then dunno why we decided to take the long way to JE -.-" then in the train i sian sian 1, wangzhe aaron bingle was playing LF2 on wangzhe's laptop which i was not interested, then the girls were chatting, then i nth to do Zzzzz. yep then like that go home lor, then aarong bingle and wangzhe went aaron house to do work.

i seriously dunno why i feel that way sia, zzz so frustrating lor, actually i don't mind if its other people, but i freaking hate and despiese that person, i seriously don't understand why... why is it like that? why am i so afraid? fuck lor. this blog i can't post much...but on instinct i want somebody to understand, if not i just keep a private diary can le, sai la...sian sian sian. fan fan fan.

to do something that i would never do? tch.

yesterday went to wenzhong's house for geog project, then 10.30 call wenzhong he still sleeping-.-" then 11 call again he wake up le, then asked him for directions then quickly head to his house. then right i was reaching liao, then i thought he told me that he would be waiting at the bus stop, so i just keep taking the bus till i overshot 4 stops-.-". i thought sth was wrong so i alighted. then soon wenzhong cycled over after some talking. then somehow he persuaded me to stand on the rods sticking out in the middle of the wheel, then he ride lor, damn scary la-.- like roller coaster like that except this time i scared of falling down from the bike. then suddenly he almost lose control then i quickly jump off the bike then the bicycle tyre scratch my leg, pain sia. then yeah ran the rest of the way to wenzhong house, then do do do, slack slack slack, then geog project finishing le. then went youtube watch deathnote, then dl o2jam on his com. Then wenzhong mum very nice de lor, keep giving us stuff to eat. then i went outside to play o2jam on the com, then dunno why i play so lousily keep missing the notes, maybe cos wenzhong's keyboard cannot press 7 keys at once de. ya then got forced to eat dinner, wenzhong's mum cooking not bad lol. but then i went home and had to eat dinner again.

sometimes i wonder if whether my existence was for the worse or for the good. whether if i'm a curse to whoever meets me... i seriously don't know...if i wasn't there things would have turned out differently right? no thats not true, i'm neither a curse or a blessing, i am just who i am.

i feel so sad now lor. its like maple is so full of scum and good-for-nothings. don't they realise that they wasted so much time and money of their life on a stupid game that doesn't even mean anything? i really can't believe the maple community that i once liked so much has turned into this ...i can't find a word to describe it. i've seen so many cases of people giving up on their social life, and even their gf/bf, betraying their so called closest friends for just a stupid game. i've seen some people's life turn for the worst cos of this game. hai very sad lor, + asiasoft is a money grabbing freak of a company. its costs $10 for a hair coupon in game, i can get a real haircut with $10 la. freak lor, i've read in the newspaper dunno last year or last last year the company made 2million profits(yes profits, minus all the server costs and whatever) in 1 year. and asiasoft is only is SEA leh.

another thing i'm sad about...2E. its like in 7 months time 2E won't exist anymore and despite what it seems like we're very enthu, we're not united, its still the same like what it was when we first came together as 1E. Is popularity that important? do you need attention all the time? i mean whats the freaking problem lor, this year most of us are gonna be 14 years old liao,and we still act like we're primary 4 kids. and its not funny. its a sad fate for this class. i'm sad because 2E is going to end soon. i'm even sadder cos 2E is going to end with a sad fate.

still got what? lol np lor. its like...i dunno what i'm going to do when our 4 years is up. if u tell me that i'm going to leave all my squadmates right here right now i would probably cry in front of you which i haven't done so for several years...hai i so damn dread that day...grr why was humans made like this? are you just fooling around with us? what exactly do you want from us, or are we just a 'failed experiment' of yours. we're flawed in so many different ways and i don't see anything that can help. a person can be so nice to everybody but then some people will just be the fuck they are and take advantage...whats up with that? i've blogged bout this earlier, i mentioned how flawed we are and even gave examples...why do i see so much scum yet lack the means to punish them? why do i see so many people in need yet lack the means to help them? what for do i have a pair of arms, a pair of eyes, a pair of ears, and a brain WHEN THEY ARE SO FREAKING USELESS?!!!


ah well, time to stop with all this depressing stuff le, tml air pistol!!hehe i'm feeling so sadist right now *prepares a chopper*

finally came back from itc yesterday, ok lets start this long long post...

Day 1: got released late for chinese AGAIN, *sigh* got released at 2.25 cos of the skit we supposed to perform, then i didn't go for break to practice the skit then during chi lesson not our turn to do the skit at all. then 2.25 quickly chiong down change into my full-u, then no time to eat at all la, then i just like that nv eat anything go for itc camp. i dunno if thats brave, stupid, or plain crazy xD. then stood under the scorching sun for the opening ceremony, if you want an idea of how hot the sun is, the kiwi on my boots MELTED. M-E-L-T-E-D. wtf lor, and i was like standing at the side receiving the full torture of the sun T_T. then what happened next? oh ya made our flags lor, then dunno why our acrilyc(sp)paint so not nice de lor... then ya tried to make do with our pens and markers and ya u know-.-" dunno why our paint like that de, then ours quite nice la, (IT IS QUITE NICE LOR!!!). then ran 2 rounds around the school parading our flags xD very fun!!!(half of raymeo's name got cut off xD) then dunno why schedule say say 5.30 sec 1 and 2 interaction, dun have leh..

then 6.15 had dinner which was not very nice >_>forgot what it is le, then got barrack inspection. This year nco more merciful, didn't search for the tiny crook and crannies like our ex-ncos did last year. for example those spaces in between the metal rods under the table-.-" and they weren't as sadist too, 'remembers how yicheng got promoted 81 times in 5 minutes' xDxDxD. ok, then soon the sky darkened. then it was time for our night trail. then i went to group 2, dunno why some of the guys so despo die die must join with some people, waste time only la, we all squadmates lor, want to form cliques so much for what? then group 2 sat there for what it felt like 1hr before we can finally set off. Then we took a luxurious bus number 11 to labrador park( 11 our 2 legs lor-_-lll correct what, just imagine) ya, we walked to labrador park and walked back. pro right? xD. Then night trail quite scary lor. our ncos tell us de ghost story very scary if u hear it from them urselves, they said that during WWII in labrador park, singapore was losing the war and the soldiers prepared to make a last stand then every single soldier went to defend the place except 1 soldier that was left behind in the underground camp, then soon every single soldier was killed by the japanese. The soldier inside the camp was left forgotten by everybody, nobody remembered to go find the soldier. people say that his spirit still lingers waiting for people to come for him. then was like so freaky la. i was like so scared when i heard the story. then our ncos still say we must knock on the door at least once to tell him that there are still people who remember / coming for him i think. then still got what if u feel a sudden chill when you knock do not be afraid as it is the spirit's way of acknowledging what u did-.-" then i so scared la. then next story is what. at cannon area the soldiers were putting up a last stand but then they were outnumbered and were brutally masscared. then their spirit still lingers there, sometimes u can still hear the sound of the helicopters. then we were made to count the number of bomb shells there. then there was another 1 involving an abandoned baby. then then was another 1 involving an underground passageway of the soldiers behind a tomb, who were all killed then the blood all spilled on the candles, then the candle wax and the blood quickly mixed and formed together into a substance then still continues to burn. then if look inside the candle flame can see the spirit-.-" arghh then i continued to get even more and more scared. then they say do not extinguish the flame or else face the wrath. if a flame extinguishes in front of you, pray for the best. omg lor!!!they say until really really scary la, their tone was like 'be careful or your safety will be not be ensured' then we were blindfolded and made to walk a trail , then we keep getting ka jiaoed, but then i calmed down after a nice walk in total darkness, then rest of the trail not really scary la. then we were made to knock on the wooden door, nth happened, but some of my squadmates said that our ncos were behind that door waiting to jump out on us. then walk walk walk i almost caused everybody to jump down a whole flight of stairs xD then soon hear helicopter sound and see flashing lights, dunno why i not scared...cos obvious is ncos xD, then our ncos still very romantic lor, play 'yue liang da biao wo de xin' in the background lol. then *getting lazy to blog le* still got what...oh ya our mam said when there are 2 trees standing very close to each other, sth is wrong. Then we saw 2 such trees during the trail la, then a doll was hanging from the tree. omg so freaky...but the doll too cute le, spoil the whole image and can see is nco put de, cos got string tying the doll-.- then keep on walking, mr oh was standing there pretending to be a soldier holding a bomb shell lol. then we reached the cannon area, then we started counting the bombshells. then ncos suddenly jump out and scare us-.-" then the girls started screaming then i tio frighten also*hai* lol, now i understand why when 1 girl starts screaming the other girls will start screaming as well. then i guess thats the whole night trail? 1 of my seniors got injured while siaming back. then i guess thats the whole night trail? you know whats the creepiest thing? i have no idea if i'm just hallucinating or it was my imagination or was it real. but i saw alot of things that are out of place during the camp. its like its there for less than a fraction for a second, just enough for me to notice it, then the next moment its gone entirely then i stand there wandering if its real or i'm just imagining things, that is totally freaky lor...

then walked back extremely tired and then had sentry duty and went back at 1.30 then its group 2's turn then group 3's turn, i lucky la, get to sleep so early xP then the ncos returned the 3 flags that we lost(my group's flag didn't get stolen hor) then at night so hard to sleep on the table, cannot move at all, since i would bump into other people if i turn and i had to guard the flag-.- then kept switching from the floor to the table, both were super cold sia...dunno how to sleep.

day 2.(i typed all that and its only day 1?)

had morning exercise taken by our sirs and ma'm, so called exercise lor, was quite tough sia... can't rmb what we did le, but i know its tough-.-" then ate breakfast which isn't so nice still... then had lessons which was totally sian, and i found from this year and last year itc i cannot rest at all, if i sit down i will fall asleep, the same thing will happen if i stand in fall-in position for too long >_> (yes, i can fall asleep standing up) Then was drill , changed into our sweaty full-u again-.- then our drill very sucky la, dun talk bout it. then i was damn pissed that time la. keep rush rush rush. then the whole squad was supposed to change from full-u to pt kit in 12 min when our fastest was 12min+++ then we actually can make it one lor, but then we dunno if nid to bring what or not so wasted some time, then fall in gang gang hao reach right on time 12 min-.-" then give her talk talk talk scold scold scold become late by 2 min lor. not really blaming the ncos la, i know they want good for us, bout isn't that abit ridiculous lor...and i'm pissed because i freaking broke my cup cos i was rushing so damn much...grr. then was field cooking, no time to cook so just ate the packet food and opened up some cans to eat xD actually other ppl open 1 la, they cannot finish i help them eat xD then had rope obstacle, i can proudly say i completed all of them, thought the vertical climb was quite hard sia... then was pt, was quite hiong? but still ok i guess, pump until hand 'nuah' diao. then can see my squadmates pump ncc style, actually not ncc style la, even more slacker than that, at least ncc is go down all the way (nv touch the ground la) and come up halfway then go down again, they is go down halfway only come up le, where got so slack de pumping 1...still tell me what lor, go down all the way is fuck the floor pumping, you just finding excuses la, wtf.

during pt reflected on what we did, then started telling some very lame and racist jokes-.-"i shall skip that part. Then had recreation, was really fun but no water war cos mr chua say cannot waste rv de water lol. then brought all those extra stuff for nth-.- even though like that recre was still fun, crapped for awhile as the ncos planned what to do. then we played 'knot tying' then the whole unit was 1 piece of twine, then first challenge was to roll up the twine, so we turned and turned and turned, then unwind the twine damn fast la, was like getting pulled and running so fast xDthen afterwards formed various knots and lastly rvnp, then our ncos was taking photos up there, omg..-.-" after that dinner and candlelight night.

candle light was damn nice la...our juniors sang quite well? though i couldn't hear anything?xD then our skit wasn't that good lor...its so sad lor, can see some of my squadmates almost crying le...see them like that i also want cry..xP but then also like no time to practice our skit at all la, we didn't even practice once, must work extremely hard next year to give a performance like what our seniors did. our sec 3 seniors danced sexyback so nice la..omg especially that guofeng, lol, he dance the nicest 1, anyway seniors you rock xD. then ncc boys skit was quite nice, no doubt lame but nice. then ncc girls' s dance was even nicer la, then ncc boys sec 3 did a skit, which was just as lame and nice as the sec 2 ncc skit, then the sec 3 ncc girls danced jing wu men, which was what we originally planned to dance...anyway they also dance until very nice, maybe even nicer than the ncc sec 2 girls. then ncc sec 4 is solo sing 1 song, ermmm ermmm ermmm nice lor he sing hehe. then GG sec 1s sang also, also cannot hear de lol. then sec 2 GG dance xing fu lie ren. then i saw tx face was very black for the dance lol, then like most of the squad face all black black 1 almost nobody smile and like most dun dare do the actions or they dunno how to do, except that fangqi ar?not sure was smiling throughout O.O. then sec 3 and sec 4 ncc girls dance also nice lor. ya, so basicly candle light rocked, all the ugs performed well!!! best performances would be i think our sec 3 seniors, ncc girls sec 2 and 3, and GG sec 4s ^^ but overall everybody rocked^^ oh ya!forgot mention sjab...lol, i saw bingle he was like so blur there dunno how to dance lol. then his sec 3 and 4 seniors also dance, very nice also la. then had community singing, the guys not high de lor, only the girls high xD ok skip skip skip, soon was solo night. then wasn't scary la, cos most of the lights were on, then i got placed near the sjab room, then the sjab people like i think looking for casualty keep walking past me and shining torchlight at me. then go sleep liao.

Day 3: (must...continue...blogging...even though...its nearly...1am...)

day 3 woke up in order to getback our flags(till now only 1 flag remained, ours got stolen by staff kok leong during lunch while we weren't noticing) and we ran 10 rounds in total, without stopping(ok we stopped a lil for 1 or 2 rounds for our ncos to talk?) which is 4k, i didn't know my stamina was that good can run 4km sia...and every round must have at least 2 cheers, in the end got back all our flags, thats your basic exercise for you-_-"then breakfast, then we drilled, our drill today was considerably better that day, we finally learned homad and ke-kenan pusing, yay! the had area+barrack cleaning then debrief then we are FINALLY OFF!!!WOOHOO!

i skipped alot of stuff sia...but when i reached home i bath and eat lunch 3+ then go to sleep till 8+ wake up bath and eat dinner then 9+ go to sleep again until next morning 8+ so i slept for bout 16 hrs in total after the camp, lol shows how sleepy i am. ok lets count the number of words here.

2344 words 9887 characters (no spacing) 12,231 characters (with spacing) 167 lines 4 pages 12 paragraphs

lol thats how much i typed for those stuff above, not including this sentence, actually i still 1 more event to post which is i went wenzhong's house today to do geog, but then i'll leave it for tomorrow, 3 cheers for my longest post yet!!!xD

today i can't rmb all the lessons again, just that i promise to study hard. aiyo, my results decrease like siao la.. mostly cos of my history, i failed it-.- 45/100 dotz. hai shit shit shit. ok, i promise i will get 95 and above for maths and 91 or above for sci next term,( just like what i said last time xD, but this time i will work to obtain that score). okok. my term 1 results like shit-.- then yeah LA tio scold by mr wong again, wtf la, u got problem isit? keep scolding me. wenzhong was asking my question la, and i already saw how the report was done, it was mostly out from the ws la, -.-" sian sian,( fine i know it doesn't mean i dun have to listen to your feedback, but u didn't have to shout so loud and scold me, it seems like you don't trust me at all)

today nth much again, oh ya, this time my chinese compo gonna get like less than 30-.-" i rushed like siao la, then leave out alot of details, i think mr ho will ask me to rewrite...aiyo dissapoint him xP.then next is swimming, dotz, seems like my mind is occupied recently, i sometimes just forget about things. actually i didn't feel like taking it cos 14 laps of backstroke is a little too much for me since i suck at backstroke >_> i can pass the silver timing though. then just swim lor, drank alot of water cos it keeps flowing from my nose into my mouth and throat and lungs, then i keep feeling so disgusted and coughing-.-" then didn't play much after it ended, nobody wanted to train for the test lol. then just went home soon lor, sian sian de.

TOMORROW IS ITC!!!!!!!!!omg i haven't take stuff from underneath my table yet-.-. dotz la...

Announcement: TOMORROW MAY BE THE LAST DAY YOU SEE MY ALIVE T__________T

i haven't wrote my will yet though, lol, anyway, pray for me! cya!

dotz, today already very frustrated, really really really super fan la, then mr wong gave me detention cos i forgot to bring my form again-.- and is 2 times detention. and like i'm supposed to go buy stuff for itc today la, freak lor...dam is fan shang jia fan. ya lor, then the lessons i didn't pay much attention. i don't know what i should do sia, my CA1 results are like shit la, then its like i want to have good results but i have no motivation at all to continue studying, hai dunno lor, then is fan shang jia fan shang jia fan.-.- after that 2.15, after awhile went to library to take the sci test, started at 2.30 and finish at 2.45+++. then 3 mr wong still haven't come yet, then weiting also dunno go where, so me and yicheng go find her then she at canteen with jiayi, then she say awhile more go up, then me and yicheng went to obstacle course awhile then came back weiting dunno go where le, then go up again see nobody at library, then go 2E classroom mr wong still having his band meeting-.- then like yicheng was rushing to go 3rd lang or sth, then he tell me sth like maybe no more detention le, so i just follow him go hall wait for kendrick(they were doing ncc skit) in the end wait till like 4? then they were chionging for 3rd lang then i went to library to take my bag then saw mr wong (...wtf la). then after alot of bullshit, he said that we gonna have another detention to replace this once in term 2. WTF LA. he was like ' no don't say anymore' when i was like trying to explain, then he like implying i was lying and trying to make up excuses, wtf lor..and i like dun dare go home yet cos dunno if got detention or not. then he said yicheng was supposed to tell us to stay in the library, afterwards i asked yicheng then he say mr wong DIDN'T TELL HIM ANYTHING. who do you think i belive? -_-" wtf la...bloody hell waste my time, and he's gonna waste even more of my time during term 2. grr...damn fuck...day ruined. now i have so much frustration inside that i wish somebody would try to rob me right now so i can beat that person to a bloody pulp out of 'self defence'. grrr...frustration is building up inside me.

i don't want to tolerate anymore...i want to snap soon, i want to release everything i've been holding back. some people just think that because i'm nice(i'm nice usually ok?) and i don't get angry can just take advantage and ap me, these kind of people are the people that piss me off the most, next to arrogant people =P.

alot of inside thoughts...i know freaking well what i have to do, yet i don't, and i know why...or maybe i don't maybe i'm just trying to find excuses for these happenings...minus away all the other reasoning and excuses i know why i can't do things...

i shall not be wilful anymore and go for things like 'doing sth impossible by putting in nothing at all'. thats what i wanted to do all along, xP but then thats just being wilful, being wilful is a lose-lose situation. when a person is wilful, the victims will be pissed, and if they refuse to give in, the person will be pissed as well, if the victims give in, they would still be pissed or even worst totally giving up on that person, that person wouldn't feel good at all(provided that person has a conscience). i know i don't show that often in school, xP but then i just dunno^^ i will continue to look for power(power comes in many ways...) and this time it will be 'doing sth impossible by putting in effort' but then, i have to overcome my weakness first though, sadly, i don't know who can help.

ok, put aside all the unhappy stuff. we finally received schedule for itc! very fun lor, the only thing i dun look forward to is drill >_> have to change in and out of uniform and carry it around, and later ncos go around stealing uniform also *hai* i so jealous of the sec 1s!! 8 pm star gazing and squad bonding till 10 pm, omg!!!so nice. imagine lying down on a slight hill slope in the middle of night with the person you like just gazing at the stars relaxing and chatting, that would be dreamland xD but then having my squad with me would be great too hehe.

This year itc should be fun lor. Oh ya, sorry to the GGs, cos like..neither side know that they're gonna use the same song, and we like only gonna use the 30s chorus of the song?seriously ps xP u all had to rechorograph the dance i think? sorry sorry ^^lll

last fri what did i do? nth much, i think i'm gonna skip the lessons, memory lost xP. ok cca time, surprisingly we were released on time, and just nice this time no nid change full- u -_-" oh well, then pt we did forget is 80 or 100 pumpings and situp in total, and 200 jumping jacks(of course not in a go...)then after that prepared for itc, ermm our skit can la, i was worried what they would come up with xP ok..ermm nvm lor, just leave it for later hehe. then got our groups, our flag theme and the checklist. i grouped with raymeo shannon yingling and jiahui, then chose baby bugs bunny as the pic of our flag(our theme was baby looney tunes lol) then have to bring alot of stuff for itc...wonder what the 1m pole is for? np room no more poles xD. anyway...the day quickly ended.

sat and sun i spent mostly slacking i trying not to move too much and my arm and leg was aching-.-oh ya, and playing and doing hmwk. oh ya, last fri 9+ or 10+ i got informed that tml 7.30 meet at school-.-". then i actually went lor, i earliest? when i reach nobody, then take a walk, lee theng reach le, then awhile more shannon reach, then awhile more junjie reach, then awhile more nobody else reach-.- very pro leh, whole squad 20+ people 4 people came, then after awhile went to jiele's house to 'do' the script, ya 'do' hehe xD then ya so 5 people le, then somehow weisheng found his way to jiele's house, 6 people, then after awhile and alot of being blur, huimin found her way to jiele's house also, haha, so in total 7 people lor. then jiele just type out the script, and we made sure everybody had a role, then u can guess what happened next, alot of erm, crap? and abit of watching vids on youtube, then went home le. then i randomly took a bus, which is 61, then i dunno just take all the way to bukit batok mrt-.- then finally reach home.

today, lessons all quite boring, then i get to pon sci test, yay!!!then mr ong said it will be double the difficultly on weds, then dunno why i was laughing maniacally outside the classroom haha, really lor, dunno what thing so funny hehe. then they all go change into full-u at 11.10? siao lor so early, oh ya, received gloves today, whole squad must thank linxuan hor. then took bus to turf city, then the boys were to carry the equipment, then i carried the cones, which was taller than me when i tried to carry it...ermmm diaoz. then we waited really really really long before we were assigned to our locations, then just slacked the whole time, then i got a little bo liao and start to poke yicheng with a pin( i told u i was bo liao rite?) then started to pierce my skin with a pin, yes that was how bored i am xP. ANYWAY, we finally started to walk there, then i got the best spot possible, the beginning and the end of the U turn, which is pretty close to each other. that spot best lor, cooling air, no mosquito,open space to drill, get to direct people, and see the same people twice xD. yep then was pretty sian, then drilled with bernice jiahui and jun wei, awhile only la...then just slack for a long time then finally saw somebody running over, then directed direction, then cheered the unicorns, people whom i know and occasionally people whom i dunno on. then only some people responded to me *hai* lol ok lor, then bernice was so sadistic, at the end of the u turn, she keep telling people that there's only 1.2km more to go-.-" lol then like everybody responded and said 'huh' and alot of other comments, dotz lol. then saw alot of seniors and ncos. then 4 sjab same station as us, then some people is sad sad alone 1, like nicholas and some other ppl. then some people blister broke? then some people fall down, then got 1 guy i dunno what happened to him leh, i think he was fainting? he couldn't walk straight sia, then like 2 other people was acompanying him and some sjab and np, then he dun want take shortcut take the whole 4.5km route , oh well his choice lor-.-quite a few people asked for water, then other ppl give i nv xD i lazy go take mine la..-.- okok, i know i very irresponsible la, if no mroe water i surely will go take 1(i'm talking to myself...). anyway our 2 nco walked all the way..dotz pro. then just like that lor, end le, then made to clean up the place, quickly change, then go home, by then is nearly 7 le leh, so late liao..omg. then the bustop is so far away la, then i just follow the rest of the people lor, then walk very long then reach, realised that there was 157 so i took it. then u know right, 1st bustop got rvians, 2nd bustop also got rvians down there, 3rd bustop ALSO HAVE, then 4th dun have, but then 5th 6th and 7th i saw rvians walking there, lol rvians are pro de lor. then now i memory lost le, very tired right now la... i want go sleep le, more on next post i guess.

tues
can't rmb much again xP for CID i didn't do anything for the presentation at all xD only kelvin and yan cheng did, but then the 2 didn't inform us at all la, how i know-.- anyway, just presented and finish le. Then there's nth much during the lessons lor, then art chinese brush painting very sian leh..anyway, i draw very lan.

then soon is np le =Dlol wear half u, so alot of time lor then dunno why this time, time passed by so slowly-.- then just keep drilling till very sian. yicheng got the np pledge wrong, HA! xDxD okok...nth. then kept drill was very sian till we learnt ke-kiri pusing, then things started to get more interesting xD very funny la... we marched into a slope, then alot of other weird weird stuff. then our juniors quite cute la...xD then got alot of lame stuff lor. then started to slack afterwards, found out raymeo has a stead (go asknlearn forum xP), and that we are so dead for itc, our dry shoot is very soon, AND THAT I DON'T HAVE TO RUN FOR CROSSCOUNTRY!!!YAY!!! hehe i don't feel like running lor..cos i run so slow, last year not even top 100, hai. i'm gonna wear full - u that day and be road marshall, then we get released at 11 am ^^ anyway i guess thats the end of that day.

weds whole day also nth much la, was supposed to go for beach cleaning, but then because raining go cancel, so sian la!!! then we had house meeting, then also rain, then i also casually stroll across the field. quite sad la, sec 2 not enthu in cheering de xP

then today thurs also nth much lor(fine fine i know my life is boring.) today mr wong and mr ho both nv come, so is free lesson, no la not free still must do alot of things. then pe was raining, so had to run inside the school, then supposed to run 6 rounds, we took shortcut for 2 rounds xD but i think we ended up running 1 extra, anyway during hist dam what la. i failed my reflection, but i finished it in like 5 min, wtf lor, he nv tell us( at least i didn't think so) that it is 50% of our overall grade for term 1...!@#$% la, then i like fail le lor, both reflection i did under 5 min, fail liao lor, nv tell me!!!!**** hai...

then sci did sth interesting, we have to make 40+ cards by tml lol, kinda impossible? then mr ong said that 'u all test me, if got 1 chemical symbol i dunno i quit my job immediately' then our class suddenly very excited all testing mr ong in hopes of making him quit his job xD. Afterwards was swimming, i forgot to bring goggles, and the conclusion from today is that i have a really really bad sense of direction-.- i was supposed to swim 4 laps, starting from line 1 and reach the other end, then i from line 1 swim to line 8, then swam back to line 1, hit the wall, went sideways again and made it back for 2 laps xP then breaststroke also like that lor, i went sideways, again-.- then we had a little diving session from the 1st 1, which is only 30 cm higher than the ground...ok...it doesn't look scary if u see it on the ground but it is abit scary when u actually stand on it, then just jump lor. the diving pool is deep leh...i think i went 3m underwater.

afterwards had a race, then i don't dare swim, later i swim sideway again-.- then yujie CHEATED, lol he went up and ran all the way to the finishing line then pretended he swam there lol, he did that twice, then 1 time i shuai him, i say until 2 then purposely pause then he chiong halfway across le then he know xP then went home soon cos nth to do, then today i also eat instant noodles-.- ..never..again.. then went home and starting doing my sci hmwk, which took 3 hrs to complete-.- diao... then now tamil still haven't do anything oh well, heng tml pt, oh ya tml test also..sian la so dam tiring lor, its either i get rid of my slacking habit or i work harder, somebody help me leh.

my duty...arghh...freak, why can't do it...

hate...boundaries...

alot of times, i feel that there is somebody there deliberately fooling around with me, sometimes in 1 moment, everything crashes and falls and the another moment everything is ok again, i don't understand what it wants...to have everything going the exact opposite then make it straight again. sheesh. i guess thats all for today.