am i blogging frequently nowadays? o.O well, the holidays are almost over and my hmwk is still T_T. wanted to get started and revise everything during the hols, but hor i realised that i neglected my studies for too long liao, its gonna take alot to get me started again -_-. the longer i wait the harder it is, the harder it is the longer i wait. rawrs vicious cycle! nvm i know i can do it one xP.

yeah, my holidays are fullllll, except for one day which is last tues which i am supposed to go my grandma's house but it was canceled o.O sth happened, but shan't blog about it here, hope that it will alright bah. as you know friday sat sun is ug camp, which was quite a satisfactory one, for the jnrs who come my blog hey all of you showed improvement ok? i just didn't write that in the last blog post xP.

mon went for YDSP congress (don't be mistaken, i went to EATTTTTTTTTTTTT) and ahemiatefiveplatesahem, oh well its free anyway xD. hehe anyway, i went with squadmates and it was quite ok bah, DSTA and DSO really put alot $$$ and effort into training young defence scientist o.O

tuesday had one day to slack~

weds went for student leader's seminar. it was like listening to ppl talk and talk about leadership, for the morning part. and well since i'm already there might as well not waste the 9 hrs that i am sitting there, and make it productive somewhat xP. later part was talking about the development of the SLN. you will know what it means later on xP. its basicly listening to presentations and more presentations la, well can't say its exactly boring, i think i did learn sth bah. alot of times i know something but dunno its weight and importance? lols. bleh bet you all think i'm crapping alot of things that doesn't make sense and isn't interesting at all. hehe oh yeah, all the ug people sat in a row and cheered when one of the presentations mentioned that UGs don't get alot of recognition xD hehe. at the end my attention seriously -_-.

thursday today went to do geog project, finished up quite efficiently is like 2 hrs +? just to make everything look like a report can liao. went jonathan's house with ruimin, alvin is off somewhere lols. tml is 2E CLASS OUTINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!! hehe. then sat is 4k class outing again to ICE SKATINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!! xD.

damn i think i'm really abnormal today with my blogging, how xP. nvm, time to attempt to get started on my hmwk, i'm seriously taking a very very big risk sia.. oh well going off liao, cya!

i'm missing you.

why all the sadness in the world? why must people only learn to cherish after they lose? why do people not cherish even after they lost?

well, i'm back from march camp (for a day already you know xP). got home at about 2+, bathed and slept till 7+, ate dinner went back to sleep till next day 9 + xP. ok la i woke up for short whiles every now and then cos my mum kept waking me up xP. hehe but thats not the point of this post ( i slept about 17 hrs o.O)

i think this itc i really learnt alot leh. i almost forgotten about the passion, how high the standards of this unit were. of how i lowered my standards cos i didn't dare to make decisions like 'you can always find a medical excuse and quit np you know'. i really forgot about alot of things sia, with all the pressure to be a good cca leader, it has really been crushing and drained me sia. ok fine fei hua, who isn't? i promise that i will be a good cca leader no matter what. and i've always kept my promises ( i have never broken a promise before ok =P). the officers really reminded me of how high the standards of this unit was(in a good way), reminded me of the pride and passion they still have in the unit even when they are serving NS and even like they are 20+ already? thats really important sia, reminded me of my own pride and passion.

this itc also have to thank all my squadmates, i know i don't say thank you to all of you much, but i'm really very grateful for every little thing you all do okay? thanks shannon and junjie for candlelit night, it was GREAT, and i think everybody loved it as well, and i don't think i had to monitor at all xP. thanks simin for preparing ropes and recrea, though ahemithoughtiaskedyoutoprepareearlyahem, thanks jiele for preparing recrea as well. also especially thanks to wilson sia, you were great during itc. serious ok, i don't really praise ppl much leh ._. i think if i had to thank everybody one by one it would seriously take too long, but hey, all of you did your part to help one way or another, really thanks o.O first day was kinda screwed, with what whole of sec 1s going for swearing in ceremony, 25 people from sec 3s and 4s going for crowd control at netball finals, 7 more people from sec 3s to go for npap, 4 classes of ppl from sec 2s to be compulsory supporters at the netball finals. how terribly nice of the school sia, first day seriously ._., and due to some bad planning as well. but 2nd and 3rd day was alot alot better, guess my squad is like this? always pull through in the end xP i wonder how many people would read this and think about how many mistakes i made, and perhaps how bad a leader i am. damn i get jealous when i look at other ugs ._.

crap i dunno how to continue ._.

sec 1s will be a strong squad, even though they are ... during itc, cos they have strong ICs, sec 2s performance is sth that i'm proud of, even though their discipline is the main problem. Sec 3s, hmm their performance was good la, i don't have much complaints, honestly i'm not pessismistic at all bout them, but hor seriously sec 3s need to improve, but they already improved quite a bit during itc liao xP bleh what am i crapping. its hard to blog like this ._.

hmph nvm, i don't ever want to forget again, how was it like. i will do better. 4 months + more to go?

just thought i should blog about this you know.

well you know 4G 4K 4L has been said to have cheated for the maths test, then right 4K very strongly says that we never cheat, then asked the school to investigate (our form teachers went and ask). then right after a long time, and after saying that we cheated in front of the whole school or level i don't really know, they said that cos after our maths test we discussed about the paper too loudly and the opposite class heard -_-. so we leaked out the questions unintentionally. firstly right, right after maths lesson was mrs lim lesson, no way we would have talked for long. 2ndly even if that was the case you still owe us an apology -_-.

dunno why i suddenly wanted to blog about this xP. not that i'm angry bah..but seriously hor -_-.

can't really think of anything to blog about sia. everything has just been..luan. a million and one things that i have to do. a million and one things that i want to do. what to do? sounds simple..but it isn't. you know i think for rv people, or even for normal teenagers, being stressed is normal. having problems is normal. being sad is normal? didn't wanted to say that last sentence. but just because it slowly becomes normal means you shouldn't talk about it anymore meh? doesn't mean it should become a part of our lives wah..it still has value leh. to say that you are stressed..after being stressed for alot of times, the stress doesn't change, so why should anything else change? bleh i wonder if anybody understands what i'm talking bout, i barely understand it myself. just because of the numerous 'jiayous' we heard before, does it make the next 'jiayous' that we hear less valuable, less meaningful, less impactful?

it isn't that people become stronger, i think that being stronger means that you can triumph over it, its more like more detached, immune?

bleh crapping alot, dunno if what i typed made sense, better stop blogging liao. btw i calculated my gpa and found that it was about 2.0 -_-.

lols whats up with me and my fragmented blogging nowadays -_- guess i just really have alot on my mind. quite abit on my heart too.

lols you know when you just sit at like near to a large body of water and blow wind is really damn shiok. like around a week ago pulau semakau trip, i just sat on the edge and blow wind, shiok ah~ lols random xD but really like the feeling. if there was something for me to lean against(preferably something soft xD) and dunno..it would be great xD. pasir ris park and all those beaches blow de wind not as shiok as pulau semakau wind hehe. but you know i was thinking about all those then i suddenly rmb the obs that time, we were all walking walking and walking with the heavy backpack and was really exhausted (you know i actually wanted to train up before obs sia, but dunno why plans were..postponed xD), then we took a wrong route and ended up at this dead end. actually not dead end la, its kinda like quite a high slope to the sea. then everybody just rested there, like you know very exhausted very hot then got cool wind breeze blowing and in front of you all you see is just a patch of sea xP. hehe good team bonding also la, like everybody was throwing stones into the sea lols. if i ever go back to pulau ubin again ( i just went back pulau ubin last saturday -_-), i think i would definitely visit that place sia. and go around plucking durians hehe, though i don't eat durians ._. riding on bikes of course, no way i'm walking ^^ (being a CI is that shuang you know? for those who don't know , i have to camp at pulau ubin for about a week for Cadet Inspector course, then after that can return to take ATC and stuff. but most of you probably dunno what i'm talking about xP)

must paragraph my blog posts lol. i think my moods are really confusing sia, like can't really see whats going on? bleh whatever don't think bout that first. its too early to take a break.

bloody hell my mum is freaking irritating. keep scolding me for no reason -_- like wth scold me for playing the com for awhile, scold me for sleeping. other parents see their children tired will let them sleep sia, i can't even fucking close my eyes in peace for more than 5 minutes. like i don't know how to take care of my own life like that. keep screaming at me to do hmwk, how the hell do you even know what is hmwk and what isn't -_- maybe i'm lagging behind in hmwk but that isn't without reason too -_- and you don't see me worried can, i know i can catch up de. but just have that lack of motivation now sia, need somebody to push me. sian why the hell am i blogging about her again -_-

good night people