Night Fall

Saturday, April 26, 2008

mid years is coming real soon but i have no desire to stop blogging ^^. Even though i do not go back to 2e le, i still find myself enjoying going to school than staying at home. like at school can see my friends and talk to people, and pretty much have all my time occupied doing whatever hmwk i can. but school seriously sucks, i can't stand myself sia, i just keep freaking stoning and stoning and wasting my life away with all that stress on me -_-. it takes a toll you know. but its still better than staying at home bah, cos at home nobody to talk to and i just stare at my com all day. conflicting feelings made me even more sian, cos i know i should be doing my hmwk and studying but another part of me just wants to play and slack. i end up getting so irritated that i don't do anything -_- cruel results of stress and school life. and not like my mum is helping by shouting at me for every single thing zzz.

but got good news, which is that i passed my promo MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!. lol ok that wasn't neccessary. but seeing that 2 stripes very song aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. after muster parade played with my squadmates again haha. hopefully we will continue to play and play till maybe year 5 year 6 xD. love them sia^^

i still feel very absent minded nowadays, mainly because of all the stoning that i've been doing. i want to stop stoning la, or else i will feel like i'm just wasting my time in school lor. sit there and stare at the teacher. wait sometimes i can't even see the teacher -_- but i will admit school is getting more enjoyable nowadays ^^. my class quite enthu sia, dunno buy how many birthday cakes and gifts le lol. and they are smart too ._. guess whether i meant that in a good or bad way^^.

lets get through this damned mid years examination once and for all for the june hols will be here after the mid years, which means chalets and alot of spending xD. dunno whether to be happy or sad haha. oh well, best of luck to everybody taking the exams!

fallen @ 3:15 PM

Monday, April 21, 2008

don't really feel well nowadays. i owe myself alot of stuff, and i owe other people alot of stuff as well. haiyo, why can't everything be simpler? slowly getting weak =/. my dedications do i have the will to carry it through, no matter what have to stay strong, even though the ground beneath me seems like it is crumbling away. walking on is a must, but i don't to ______________________. only then do i realise.

school nowadays is pretty much the same. not too aware of how i am doing for all my tests and stuff. don't want to see my physics paper, irritating. doubt my score is gonna be anything to be proud of, i don't understand physics. bleh, i think i took too long of a break. and now i know a break is not what i need. tommorrow is our last cca act for this term, then it will be hardcore mugging for mid years. and i feel so unmotivated, arghh, sickening. very draining.

bleh, i don't think you all can understand what i'm blogging about. maybe i won't understand as well when i come back and read this. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, i. will. not. become. emo. ever. kind souls out there wish me luck, though i'm just talking crap over here

fallen @ 10:09 PM

Sunday, April 13, 2008

lets start with last friday. last friday wasn't exactly a good day bah. Not really too happy about the math test. Quite depressed over my physics test. arghh, i think i can say i'm screwed for physics la, first time feel helpless against all those questions -_- total mind block arrrrrr. Then napfa test afterwards, depressing againnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. I failed my napfa, standing broad jump by 1 cm HAHAHAHAHAHA. the teacher told me my technique wrong, make my momemtum go against me o.O so i jumped anywhere from 160+ to 190+ xDxD. 190+ is pass liao, but i put my hand behind me then aiya, no count ._. then too bad lor, gonna train for my napfa. kinda aiming for a gold ^^. Wah lau, hopefully dunnid to rerun 2.4, first time get such a good timing ._. and you know the shuttle run totally can play ice skatinggggggggggggggg, my shoes totally no friction la! ok la, so i don't sound too depressed since its already a few days past that incident, but that day is really kinda sad bah. went back for cca, wasn't exactly nice, but we all played captain's ball against our ncos till like super super late lol. we left school at 7.30 sia, i thought school close at 7? haha but nobody come to chase us so dun care la xP.

lol i'm continuing this post from like nearly a week ago xP. decided to blog again since i haven't blogged for quite awhile le. mid years are coming soon ( 2 weeks) and i haven't started revising. Didn't really keep to my one month schedule huh? i find math really tough to understand, and i find myself blocking out whatever the teachers are talking about cos its the only way for me to stay awake -_-. Physics too, i so know i'm gonna fail the test, don't even want to look at my paper when i get it back-_-. i still don't understand crap bout velocity and acceleration, and how to freaking use all those formulas. oh yeah, i don't understand total internal reflection and totally forgot bout my lenses. i seriously think that we are learning alot alot alot and its only 1/3 of our school year. like maths learnt quadratics, inequalities, quadratic inequalities, alpha beta, partial fractions, relearnt indices and surds, remainder and factor thereom, logarithms, and logarithms alone branch out to dunno how many topics, haven't even finished that yet. and i know i will drop dead once they start teaching trigonometry -_-. chem learnt chemical bonding, chemical calculation, and started on acid bases and salts (which all 3 contain alot of topics ok). physics total internal reflection (sucks, i don't understand), displacement velocity acceleration free fall, now is newtown's laws and forces ._. bio is ahh i don't want to remember. but i'm sure you all get my point -_-.

mr ng moved me from one corner seat to another corner seat. whats the difference la -_-.

class is complicated. actually life is complicated as a whole, alot of things keep happening? or maybe whats not happening. Can i do it when the time comes? will i? fuck this man, i'm getting so irritated by all this. i'll just stare it down its face and do i-don't-know-what-but-you-are-gonna-to-regret-messing-with-me. pai seh, i'm not in a good mood nowadays with everything that has been going on in my life. and i realised its better to vent your frustrations instead of keeping it bottled, no matter how small it may seem. Anyway, i'll know what to do when the time comes. (laugh at this if you want =P)

anyway, i don't ever like to end blog posts on a bad note xD. even though this post is really like me bah.

you know i really feel like i'm like a blind mice scurrying around in darkness. yet it all the consuming darkness i still believe in one thing. that is you, my friends.

good night and sweet dreams people

fallen @ 9:38 PM

Sunday, April 06, 2008

kinda long since i updated o.O. haiya dunno whats wrong with me now. i said 1 month to get my studies back on track, but i have no motivation. hais, my brain is rotting away with all the slacking i am doing man. and when are you gonna pick up your duties?

now i know what people meant by monday blues sia. i really feel it le, i absolutely dread going to school nowadays -_-. apart from having to finish my hmwk its another week of torture arghhhh. and like nothing interesting on mon la (except staying back for bu ke). piangssss purposely one-_-. at least tues have pe and CCA. then weds pdp assembly take up half the day ^^. then thurs have CID and music appreciation which takes up half the day as well. then fri have pe and cca again and its the end of the week MUAHAHAHAHAHA. i feel like an adult now, as in i know how they feel when going for work on monday._. oh well maybe it won't be that bad.

alot of people emoing nowadays xP (i keep using the word 'nowadays' -_-). i think alot of people same as me. i actually looked forward to going to school cos going into 2e and i know it will be a fun day xD. and hmwk never posed a problem to me, and though sometimes i felt like slacking and had lack of motivation everything turned out okay in the end ^^. you know looking back at all those videos and pictures of 2e really makes me smile sia. just looking at everybody's stupid faces altogether is enough to make me smile xD ( no offence =P). i'm already thinking of how much time left i have with 3k you know. past experiences really makes you want to cherish things more. first month passed, 1/24 of our time together has passed. 1 term passed, 7 terms more. 4 months passed, 20 months more. if 4 months can just pass like that, another 4 months can. and another, another. the fact that time does not wait for anybody totally sucks. when you actually want to go back, you find that you are helpless against time.

life has pretty much been the same. oh ya, grats to the city venture people for getting 2nd place ^^. napfa is coming up, and a miracle happened for my 2.4km run. i improved by 2 mins 32s from my last year timing of 14min 45s O.O. and i didn't train sia, didn't expect to do so well (its good enough for me le=P) looks like np trained me alot. although its a C lol. but it means i can get gold this year, so time to train for others >_>

i don't know what to do now. am i just scared of taking up a huge responsibility, or maybe scared of dedicating myself to something. but i know i want to, i want to break through, but i don't to lose the thing that means the world to me. i don't ever want that nightmare to come through.

fallen @ 3:02 PM