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Sunday, July 27, 2008

you know yesterday i blogged so much also never really brought out what i really wanted to say. oh well, and i know while blogging i don't like to have coherence in my sentences(refering to yingxue's tag), but for the welfare of everybody's eyes i will try to be more coherent in the future and actually have more paragraphs. cos i read my own blog post i find it hard to link things together too >_>. i blog is just type whatever that comes to my mind mah, and some things that come to my mind can't be typed on a public blog -_-

seems like everybody really loves obs and learnt something from it, but i don't think i really learnt much from it sia. but i think obs still quite ok la, cos i still gained alot of experience and a few things to reflect on. while obs is so exciting and new for everybody it isn't really anything new for me sia.. i did rock climbing before, i did high elements before, i did jetty jump before, i slept in a tent (for dunno how many times -_-), i went to pulau ubin for camps (dunno how many times too), i did field cooking before (all np camp stuff?), lol basicly obs not really anything new for me sia. dunno whether if its a good thing or bad thing, everybody else seems to have gained so much from it xD.

you know there is actually alot of things that will come across my mind, but guess nowadays my mind can't really put everything into words. btw, this is my 201st post ^^ so decided to end my 201st post with these words

Love is patient. Love is kind.

It does not envy. It does not boast.

It is not proud. It is not rude.

It is not self-seeking. It is not easily-angered.

It keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

Always patient, always believing.

Never stops hoping, never gives up.

Never fails.


Love never comes to an end.


Before somebody thinks that i got this from some love story, my friend told me its actually from the bible, dunno if thats true sia..just thought that its quite meaningful, btw i'm not christian, and i koped this from my squad blog ^^ will blog another time, cya.


fallen @ 8:40 PM

Saturday, July 26, 2008

oh well, guess its time to update bout obs xD. but i think alot of ppl would get sian of reading obs posts le, like me =X hehe but glad alot of rvians enjoyed obs sia, cos the camp was quite tiring ah just glad everybody loved it =X

lets get going ^^ day 1

met in school for racial harmony day thingy, stone for awhile then on the bus liao, then slept on the bus ._. then soon reach jetty where we went into our group lols. my group consists of me bingle kelvin nicholas jonathan tianqi qizhang yongwee gaston yanshan melissa xin hui yayun charmaine (not sure if i got spell correctly) tan jiayi (to avoid misunderstandings =X). thats 15 ppl right? lols then we saw our group name - nila utama( you know sang nila utama?), then the weird song on youtube immediately came to our heads lol, but guess in the end was quite a cool name la, loved it xD. then took a boat there was raining while we were waiting though, didn't really dampen my spirits, i quite like the rain ^^. then strangely reach pulau ubin liao stop raining le, then you know tianqi and gaston needed to relieve themselves and found a spot where nobody can be looking and relieved themselves. after that the instructor came and said 'ok, let me show you to the toliets' xDxD hahas. first day didn't really do anything much, just packed bags, settled food stuff, did some activities like orienteering and trustfall and pitched tent. lols, dunno whether to say its a benefit or a con from being in a ug la, i relearnt orienteering for the dunno how many time, and i did trustfall before too xD. the tent was a new one, never pitched that kind of tent before, but was relatively easy to pitch la. but i prefer 4 man tent alot more, ask 4 cc com ppl come pitch can pitch in 6 minutes xD. and is alot more spacious and have alot better ventilation and easier to unpitched also. of course the equipment needed also alot more hahas ok, not to bore those non-ug ppl =X. oh ya, i learnt how to cook rice as well xD

day 2
last night didn't decide to bath while everybody bathed lol, cos like i wasn't dirty and i barely sweated throughout the entire day. then that day all those who never bath slept in one tent haha. and tianqi is damn clean freak la, and he refused to sleep in the tent cos it was stuffy -_- ( he did that for all 4 nights you know) and didn't wanted to change into a new shirt, cos i only brought 4 shirts including long sleeve and i know i will totally screw those shirts soon xD. and sleeping in a tent wasn't a problem for me, kinda used to it le =X so day 2 packed bags and prepared to set off for campsite 3. the tent i was carrying damn heavy, its actually my first time carrying such a huge bag =X and my bag was spoilt, had to tie the dunno what thing together using twine la, luckily it held =X then tianqi wanted to be navigator so let him be, and i believe we went the wrong way twice, and since carrying the huge bags were such a burden everybody was groaning =X but first time we walk wrong way walk until a dead end where it was the sea liao. then most of us sat down (it was sort of like a mini cliff la) and enjoyed the cool breeze and throwed small pebbles into sea, wanted to take a picture but think we didn't get a chance to do so bah, thats too bad? that was damn enjoyable sia, just imagine sitting near the sea with your group and enjoying the wind breeze ^^. then finally managed to walk to the ulu ulu campsite 3 haha, no idea what is it called a campsite in the first place =X. but i think that place quite cool as well, cos you know in the night tianqi refused to sleep in tent again, he laid a poncho on the beach and slept there -_-. then you know like around 1am, it was high tide (the water was near the level of the gate) then just sit there can enjoy the cool wind breeze again. if got starry night and the moon would be perfect place for relaxing liao =X too bad for all 4 nights can't really see any stars, too many clouds le. if no clouds will have damn lot of stars in the sky, cos pulau ubin not contaminated with pollution (no factories or anything of the like there mah) then the night sky is super clear. haha ok enough of that.

and you know i was the sea ex leader? ._. but since i know how to kayak already guess it was for the best bah -_- then yinshuain and eve were the hillary sea ex leader, and 2 prcs for da gama. me jonathan were for nila utama. yeah have 6 because only 3 watches form one camp 2e lols. then that night held briefing for about tml, then after that we split the job roles. the 2 prcs wanted to be the navigator and the rest of us were just too kind to reject them =X, oh well, just let them be la, then jonathan and yinshuain wanted to be sweeper, then i just took starboard since shore is more dangerous o.O then eve took port. kinda worried that night, cos next day i practically felt responsible for everything ._____________________. luckily kayaking was great xD. oh ya before i forget, you all know i mentioned bout the briefing right, then next day morning tracy told me that i talked alot leh. she said she thought i was those quiet type and i talked more than i ever did in class xD. lols then i was like thinking did i seriously talk that much? imagine a briefing split between 6 people and thats more than i ever talked in class lols. oh well, guess i didn't think i was that silent =X

day 3
was behind schedule in the morning, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh lols xD. then quickly did whatever we had to and had our lessons on kayaking. i think all we learnt was theory on front paddling, back paddling, stern right / left then started to rain liao, then just took out poncho and sat there for 1 hour +++. was damn sian la that time, fell asleep, then was quite cold as well. lol then you know after the rain cleared up, we set off after having capsize drill and we were like 1 hr +++ behind schedule. lol is like we set off on an 10km long journey without any sort of practice before at kayaking xD. i seriously think we damn pro la, anyhow zham also can so successful xD. you know day 2 we had some activites then one of them was skipping rope, like whole group skipping one rope. then we just anyhow zham and tried and set a record of 12 xD while other groups like 1 or 0? and it was damn fun la, i seriously think we deprived of childhood man =X. then just kayaked for 10km, being more than 1 hr behind time. i think those ppl kayaking with me damn sian, cos well, kayaking i dunno do how many times before liao, then they got kayak no kayak not much diff =X i think i can solo kayak whole 10 km ._. ok la, shouldn't be complacent ._. you know at the mangrove swamp the insects there damn scary. i was wearing long sleeve shirt but they bite through my shirt anyway and into my flesh ._. wah piangs, and the same insect bit me twice somemore, and it wasn't a mosquito leh, was way too fat to be one. then had 2 points where we had to pull the kayaks onto ground and walk awhile, then set them back into the water. quite tiring bah o.O since sea ex leaders had to do most of the jobs.

but damn proud of the whole fleet, cos in the end everybody managed to endure and gain alot of motivation to kayak faster haha. then we reached at 5.15 sia, ahead of schedule when the time we set off was like 1 hr +++ after schedule xD. and everybody arms were aching, maybe should have told them how to kayak properly, oh well xD i starboard mah, must stay at right side. and you know the instructor came over and told me she didn't hear my voice, then i was like wth. cos shore was near and i have to keep all of them to the left. then whoever came close i will tell them keep left, then the instructor said she didn't hear my voice at all -_- piangs leh.. after that i just kept shouting at ppl to keep left.

then we reached campsite 1, a highly civilised place lol. the facilities quite good la, and had proper dinner and bath (finally xD) and you know nicholas refused to bath sia, after all that mud sweat and seawater he refused to bath. then we just told him we will throw him out of tent if he don't want to bath -_- wah lau its like for his own personal hygiene la, then after the whole group *ahem* persuaded *ahem* him for like 1 hr, he finally went to bath. then you know that night, tianqi slept in toliet instead of the tent -_-

day 4
trekked from campsite 1 to campsite 2. tianqi wanted to be navigator again, and at first backtracked alot of times, but don't really blame him la, walking through a forest won't guarantee a walkable path de. then we actually went around to pick durians lol, didn't even go to all of the checkpoints, and yeah melissa injured her feet somehow. then after alot of walking finally reached, haha somehow the whole group got a surge of motivation to walk faster and chionged to the campsite ^^. hillary got attacked by bees, scary sia..hope all of them are well. then cooked a celebratory (is there even such a word? o.O) dinner lols, cooked damn lot, but i wanted to try alot of new cuisine xD (like rice cooked with milo ^^, or maybe maggi mee cooked with milo xD) but in the end all were normal food haha. nothing much happened on this day, oh ya. you know during the night we were all sleeping then suddenly the instructor came to our tents and said 'utama wake up in 5 seconds or i am going to unpitch your tents' lols damn scary sia you know, the voice like damn fierce, but i think i can guess what happened le. then you know while i was wearing my shoe she was taking off the fly sheet ._. yeah then quickly gathered and went to search for tianqi and gang who didn't sleep again in the tent. must find them in 5 mins and bring them there, saw there around hall or canteen area. then tio scolded, but i don't bear a grudge or blame them or anything la.

day 5
area cleaning blah blah blah took a whole box of rations and dumped them at singapore cos apparently nobody wanted them. abit regret cos waste all that food, hopefully somebody will take them sia.. (its all edible la, the loaves of bread and stuff). sorry getting impatient at this long post, you know its already 1am+ feel like sleeping le._.

i dunno whether its a benefit or con from being in a ug, cos its like my 3rd time camping in pulau ubin liao xP. so the stuff there don't really affect me or surprise me well, pretty much at all xD. did high elements quite a few times before (oh shit, i forgot to blog bout high elements, oh well xD) npcc camp one was alot more physically draining and scary lols. kayaking do alot of times le. and its not even my first time being forced to wake up in the middle of the night facing angry ncos/ instructors =X. lol yeah you get the idea, haha, i think almost everybody else enjoyed the experience, and i think i also learnt something from it bah.

you know kayaking i was worried we would have to pitch tent in the dark, and that kayaking wouldn't be fun for them xD. so when it was over, all the sea ex leaders were made to say something. i thought about all the stuff i could say but i just said 'hope you all enjoyed your kayaking' xD i think i also wanna apologise for shouting at them to keep left so much ._. 5th day made to give reflections as well. and i said my lowest point was during area cleaning cos i got bored xP. cos well, i said it half joking and half serious. the trekking and other stuff never really affected me lehs. just that during area cleaning felt like sleeping already, and area cleaning wasn't very interesting and i knew the purpose of area cleaning (though it was just cleaning the storeroom) i wonder if that is a good thing leh, seriously dunno. to not get affected by all these stuff. actually i wonder if i got affected or i really didn't get affected. bleh maybe i'm thinking too much again bah, sorry for the sian post, i'm not really in the best of moods now -_-

good night people, hope everybody enjoyed their obs and have a memorable journey ^^

fallen @ 11:52 PM

Sunday, July 20, 2008

lol decided to blog again xD. wah lau jiayi tagged at my tagboard saying she gonna fall asleep le. can't blame me if i what i type makes no sense at all and is entirely random right? ok actually you can blame for that xD. oh well, haha no offence to you jiayi. and omg! weisheng and bernice tag once in dunno how many colours moon. and just nice they tagged together on the same day! omg what are they doing =X and since bernice so nicely requested for me to post her YDSP pics, maybe i shall post them ^^ hehe.

as i have said, tml is obs and i getting quite excited lol. i'm only bringing 4 shirts and 4 pants there, and not even gonna bring hat, mosquito repllent, sunblock, etc etc etc xD. don't think i'll die la, i think 4 shirts more than enough le =X(that includes the long sleeved and normal ones you know). and my group is damn nice, mixture of 3K and 3L guys (got bingle *ahem* tianqi *ahem* nicholas (shit must tie him to a tree in case he starts gaying ppl..)) lols and many other ppl. along with just 5 girls haha, kinda pity the 5 girls being in a guy majority group, while other groups are girl majority. rv just can't seem to be balanced lol -_-

hmm now that i'm not sitting in a corner, can say my studies getting better la. if i try real hard to make a consious effort (which is tiring btw for my standards =X) to listen what the teacher is saying i might just understand all my lessons lol. i might sound like a slacker but i rarely make a consious effort to listen and process information, it normally comes naturally.. ok enough with crapping i don't really know how my brain works too, so anybody who feels like killing me for wasting their time reading that whole paragraph please restrain yourself xD. but anyway had a few test recently, didn't study much for math test, thankfully test was rather easy, hope i do well =X LA test was, ok la normal standard, think gonna get a B bah. bio test hopefully a miracle happens sia, i totally did not even touch my bio notes or tb until the day of the bio test itself. so all the time i had to study was from the time i reached school till morning assembly (bout 10 mins -_-) and the 20mins ms pan kindly gave us to study. so i studied 30mins for my bio test, hopefully i won't fail xD.

i think people are getting bored cos i don't blog about events, but if i blog about class it would be like..'chemistry lesson, tried my best to stay awake but fell asleep..zzz' then repeat that for every other class xD ok la, its certainly improving alot now, my resistance to falling asleep lol. then i think i blog bout cca too much liao, like sometimes every single post is bout cca, cos only cca interesting mah. and as usual i owe hmwk, cos obs is coming and i'm already in the have fun mood xD. so i shall go and finish some hmwk to hand up tml, cya people, wishing everybody to have fun for obs lol ^^.

fallen @ 9:35 PM


lol decided to finally come and blog to keep my blog alive, since obs is coming already lols. if i don't blog means my blog gonna be dead for 2 weeks le xP.

talking bout obs its coming this mon le, kinda looking forward to it^^ hopefully it will be fun la, especially kayaking part. kayaking around pulau ubin gonna be fun haha, unless my partner for the kayaking is..ahem ahem ahem. gotta face my challenge of rock climbing again -_- i must conquer it this time! but i think its kinda sian pitching and unpitching tents all day round, unless its with squadmates ^^. but if with normal schoolmates will be sian, and i will be kinda worried bout the tent collasping on me in the middle of the night while i'm sleeping lol. one of the times where campcraft and camping skills learnt in np comes into good use? xP.

my head rather blank now, sorry to whoever talked to me yesterday, was too engrossed in reading some stories. can give you all the link http://anntonii.blogspot.com/ . lol so far only read the 3 completed stories. rain angel was quite nice, kinda liked it ^^. book of love was nice too at the end, though ending not much detais but i think its meant to be like that. crap i think i read too much le, my brain gonna malfunction on me anytime soon -_-. anyway, i don't think its ____ to read these kind of stories =P when the story is nice, you'll read it no matter what type of story it is lol.

the sec 3s gonna officially takeover very soon, and i find my vocal skills inadequete =/ bleh, i think i've kept quiet for too long le -_- maybe i should start talking more. sometimes i just hold myself back sia, cos i think i can see consequences of my actions most of the time? in the end i'm neither here nor there lols, not really anything at the goal which i'm holding myself back from and the start where i well, started. don't really, it doesn't mean i'm holding myself back from achieving something, like i hold myself back from saying something or sth similar and then in the end i say nothing and in the end i'm not really anywhere. i think big problem can, its troublesome for me? lol ok. haiya don't know la, thinking too much clouds my brain -_-.

recently been looking over the pictures of my squadmates (just got the 14 disces of pictures xD), haha they all look so different from when they were sec 1. only a few people never change or only change abit, like me yicheng weisheng etc etc. rest look kinda cute, maybe i should post them so you know what i'm talking bout xD. hehe maybe i shouldn't be so evil bah. anyway i haven't packed for obs and i'm planning to pack as little as possible lol yeah, i try to blog again when my brain feels better. don't know whats wrong with me now.

fallen @ 1:43 PM

Thursday, July 10, 2008

lols now that my mind is actually clear again i went to read what i typed again. and for those people who don't know me don't try to guess what i am talking about, chances are you gonna get the wrong idea ._. you know since i go into this new class i would think about my actions and what ppl would think of me if i did that. then i kinda heck cared what people would think of me ._. lol just did what i felt like. i think i should start talking in class le bah, friends, tell me if you notice a change in me, cos i'm counting on you all to not change (for the worst at least).

i don't want to post anything too personal on a public blog so i'm just gonna say this. i hope you remember what i've said over the past 2 yrs + , cos i don't intend on going back on my word anytime this century, i'll do what i say. if you think maybe its for somebody else, maybe its for you. maybe if you think its for you, maybe its for somebody else? guess =P

good night people, cheers ^^

fallen @ 9:19 PM


blogging, don't really expect people to understand this, i was rather dissapointed yesterday, but i guess i'll forget about it. the world is a cruel thing, i don't know why but i can just feel myself changing inside, but i don't want to change. not even one bit. i want myself the way i am, the way i was and for that i need support from people. life's never easy, and i don't ever want to walk this path alone. its tiring you know, maybe i've been thinking too much, but its tiring trying to do something by myself. maybe i'm being selfish this time. maybe i'm still weak, but i'm tired of this. a thousand and one thoughts and i have to hold them all back. you know the difference between doing something because you have to and doing something because you want to? maybe on the surface it doesn't have much of a difference, but for me, i can see the difference underneath. perfectionist? whats the point of doing something because you have to, i want people to do things because they want to. heh is that even possible? not forcing, not doing anything, just expecting people to be like that. i'm too tired to think properly right now, so many things running through my mind clashing. you know why am i tired? because its painful and i refuse to let it out

Bleh, just thinking too much right now. i'll never give up, never, feeling damn worn out right now.

fallen @ 5:22 PM

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

think i'll blog before going to sleep ^^

think i'll blog bout normal school life now, nah forget bout it, blog whatever i like xP.

sadly, most of the stuff i can think of now is still cca, i think those non-UG ppl very cham, they never understand what i'm talking bout xP. last act was the last act which the ncos will take us. after that its either sirs/mams take or no act, or we plan ourselves, till rod when we shall officially take over. lol kinda fast? things just go past like that, but one thing i'm really glad about is that on the last act we had full attendance ^^ and recreation rather enjoyable bah. heh crap i'm feeling kinda tired nowadays too. quite abit of stuff happened, and hopefully i'm on the right track again. hehe thanks to ppl who heard me rant on and on and on xP. ncoship, the next step in my np life, i don't really feel inconfident or anything, cos i just believe our squad will pull through ^^. and isn't that what we wished to be since sec 1s? always can hear us saying 'wah faster become nco can pump people liao' xP, although the last part is not true anymore T_T.

i don't know whats going on in class now ._. anyway, i pretty much decided i won't give up xP

cont tml.

fallen @ 9:41 PM