dotz, today already very frustrated, really really really super fan la, then mr wong gave me detention cos i forgot to bring my form again-.- and is 2 times detention. and like i'm supposed to go buy stuff for itc today la, freak lor...dam is fan shang jia fan. ya lor, then the lessons i didn't pay much attention. i don't know what i should do sia, my CA1 results are like shit la, then its like i want to have good results but i have no motivation at all to continue studying, hai dunno lor, then is fan shang jia fan shang jia fan.-.- after that 2.15, after awhile went to library to take the sci test, started at 2.30 and finish at 2.45+++. then 3 mr wong still haven't come yet, then weiting also dunno go where, so me and yicheng go find her then she at canteen with jiayi, then she say awhile more go up, then me and yicheng went to obstacle course awhile then came back weiting dunno go where le, then go up again see nobody at library, then go 2E classroom mr wong still having his band meeting-.- then like yicheng was rushing to go 3rd lang or sth, then he tell me sth like maybe no more detention le, so i just follow him go hall wait for kendrick(they were doing ncc skit) in the end wait till like 4? then they were chionging for 3rd lang then i went to library to take my bag then saw mr wong (...wtf la). then after alot of bullshit, he said that we gonna have another detention to replace this once in term 2. WTF LA. he was like ' no don't say anymore' when i was like trying to explain, then he like implying i was lying and trying to make up excuses, wtf lor..and i like dun dare go home yet cos dunno if got detention or not. then he said yicheng was supposed to tell us to stay in the library, afterwards i asked yicheng then he say mr wong DIDN'T TELL HIM ANYTHING. who do you think i belive? -_-" wtf la...bloody hell waste my time, and he's gonna waste even more of my time during term 2. grr...damn fuck...day ruined. now i have so much frustration inside that i wish somebody would try to rob me right now so i can beat that person to a bloody pulp out of 'self defence'. grrr...frustration is building up inside me.

i don't want to tolerate anymore...i want to snap soon, i want to release everything i've been holding back. some people just think that because i'm nice(i'm nice usually ok?) and i don't get angry can just take advantage and ap me, these kind of people are the people that piss me off the most, next to arrogant people =P.

alot of inside thoughts...i know freaking well what i have to do, yet i don't, and i know why...or maybe i don't maybe i'm just trying to find excuses for these happenings...minus away all the other reasoning and excuses i know why i can't do things...

i shall not be wilful anymore and go for things like 'doing sth impossible by putting in nothing at all'. thats what i wanted to do all along, xP but then thats just being wilful, being wilful is a lose-lose situation. when a person is wilful, the victims will be pissed, and if they refuse to give in, the person will be pissed as well, if the victims give in, they would still be pissed or even worst totally giving up on that person, that person wouldn't feel good at all(provided that person has a conscience). i know i don't show that often in school, xP but then i just dunno^^ i will continue to look for power(power comes in many ways...) and this time it will be 'doing sth impossible by putting in effort' but then, i have to overcome my weakness first though, sadly, i don't know who can help.

ok, put aside all the unhappy stuff. we finally received schedule for itc! very fun lor, the only thing i dun look forward to is drill >_> have to change in and out of uniform and carry it around, and later ncos go around stealing uniform also *hai* i so jealous of the sec 1s!! 8 pm star gazing and squad bonding till 10 pm, omg!!!so nice. imagine lying down on a slight hill slope in the middle of night with the person you like just gazing at the stars relaxing and chatting, that would be dreamland xD but then having my squad with me would be great too hehe.

This year itc should be fun lor. Oh ya, sorry to the GGs, cos like..neither side know that they're gonna use the same song, and we like only gonna use the 30s chorus of the song?seriously ps xP u all had to rechorograph the dance i think? sorry sorry ^^lll