yay back from ug camp! actually got back long ago la, but been busy -_-. lets recap xD

day 1: fri. went to school carrying my luggage(barang barang, lol no idea why its called that). dunno why my bag very light, shld be grown smarter le, pack as less as possible xD. uniform like same weight as my bag -_-. then went to class with only a pencilbox xD, i didn't bring a single hmwk at all HAHAHAHAHA. gonna get scolded like crap, oh well not like i rmb what hmwk i have to do xP.

okok, lessons was normal, abit sleepy and in a daze cos of the late night chionging of dance thurs night, and worrying bout the camp -_-. oh ya, benjamin brought absuolutely nth too xD. recess chionged our flag with raymeo then finished up our flag in 15mins after school, lol super pro hehe. i can't remember a single thing that happened during lesson ._. so lets move on to camp.

falled in at 3.30 and started with the parade and stuff, then i think is cleaning of barracks then dinner. ncos are super observant, keep picking those nook and cranies that we overlooked and find dust, tio scold -_-, piangs oh well, guess ncos have to do that de la. and everybody was so happy over the food during the camp, keep saying mr oh zhong ma piao lol, but seriously better than last year la. and i need to find some cure for my short term memory, i can't rmb much ._. in the night had night trail and solo night. night trail sad to say wasn't scary la, juniors from so scared become so hiong hahas. no more atmosphere la, next year must remember to keep the atmosphere and take scenes out of ghost movies HAHAHAHAHAHA. provided we become ncos in the first place la, but i have faith in my squadmates HAHAHAHAHAHA. ok ps i crapping. after solo night quite late le, didn't bother to wash up and tried to sleep abit. we blasted 4 aircons in the container classroom muahahahaha. can't sleep la, just slacked around and practiced dance till its our group's turn for solo night, and solo night just slept through, damn mosquitos arghh. damn tired la, and you know what? after our group went back for solo night back to our bunk, i see rest of my guy squadmates sleeping so soundly that none of them even noticed that the 3 flags were gone -_-. arghhhhhhhh, wake them up ask them where give some random comment and go back to sleep -_-. suan le, gone liao jiu gone liao, just think of how to get it back. practiced dance abit more with raymeo till 3am+? then i finally went to sleep for 2 hrs till 5+, then fire drill.

day 2: needless to say, was super tired, and after fire drill our morning pt started. sirs and mams talked to us alot and i guess more of us decided to strive for the best? morning pt i believe all of us pushed ourselves alot just kept pushing and pushing and tried not to fall out. for that i was really happy sia, cos its an achievement^^ after that went for breakfast(got a nice breakfast again lol) then is drill. which .... thought of having drill in the full u under the morning sun directly after pt? -_- super tired la, tried to give standard at the start, but gradually started to deterioate. got scolded by the sirs and sir raymond asked us what do we want. i think all of us want a break lor. its not that we don't want to give the standard and improve and meet all of your expectations, but is seriously super tired la sorry to say. of course we can push ourselves and stuff, and give better (i have no idea what is standard to you all and standard to us) drill and gradually will also burn out de bah. sucks to say this i didn't dare to say that to the sir, sucks man, if i just said that would save us a whole bunch of trouble. thats how i felt at that time, was trying to stay awake and alert and rmbing and executing the drills correctly. i don't know what to feel now bah, but die die also cannot give up. i won't.

oh yeah, had a changing parade before drill, best timing was full u to pt kit in 9min 03s and pt kit to full u in 9min 14s. just shows how much we can do if we want to do it huh? after drill had a short recre where shannon or bernice broke a part of my glasses with the bball. nvm my fault for standing in the first place and staring blankly at the ball as it came down on me. bleh that was stupid la. field cooking didn't eat much, guess its true that when you are tired you will have no appetite o.O and especially after looking at the dishes my squadmates made xD ok la, wasn't that bad. then had a short lesson and practiced dance and took a short nap(sir allow us de lol). alot of ex-ncos came and visit us, saw xiaoxi jolin and alot of other ex-ncos ^^. then had recre again which was..lol. some poor people had to carry me on a makeshift stretcher xD.

practiced dance again and had a quick dinner then campfire! first performance was sec 3 guides. their performance rather cool cos of the lights xD. not bad la. then ncc girls always dance so well O.O juniors danced well too^^ our squad ar, i think did ok le bahs ^^ tried our best le, i think i danced nua-ly. then sjab dance so cute, the what guchi guchi? no idea whats it called. sec 2s sjab also quite nice and they were so zi high. then guides sec 2 not bad also. ncc did skit as usual and was entertaining xD. campfire ended with scouts singing 'pictures of you' and beatboxing which was great. good job everybody xD.

omg so damn late le, i will continue my post tml. and don't worry if anybody was wondering, i'm not always so sianned and down xD.

ok lets continue the post.

had sentry duty in the night which was over very fast. i stayed up during the night again-_-, was hovering between sleep and awake xP. tonight die die must guard flag ar, for every flag we lose must run 2 rounds tml sia, i know not alot but we running 4.8 tml leh, lose 5 flags add another 4 km, which is sure die xD. sir came in at 12+ am to steal the junior's flags but saw raymeo sitting on the makeshift bed (tables) , i was lying down xP. then nv come liao till 5+am where i was missing they came to steal o.O guai lan ppl.

morning had our 4.8km run, surprisingly i didn't feel tired, no idea why. then had unit recrea, was pretty much sleeping sia, waited for 45min before i got found-_-. our group won ^^ then area cleaning did something that would get some of us killed, but in order to save my life obviously i won't say it xD. then break camp blah blah blah blah blah blah go home sleep from 4pm + to 7pm +, then wake up eat dinner then around 9 go back to sleep till next day 10 am xD.

itc was..fuck this can't find words to say. i keep getting annoyed with myself cos i keep choosing words to say sth. why can't just say whatever i feel in its purest form whether i offend someone or not or whatever -_-. itc was really interesting, it showed me alot of things, what i have to do, what we have to do. the thing is will i do it? oh yeah, the juniors this year are interesting ^^

mon: i went out again , arghh i wanna sleep! reached jec at about 12+, where we are supposed to meet at 11.30. but 2e people are never on time de -_-, dots then wandered around and stuff till everybody reached and we went kbox to celebrate jiayi's bday. oh ya, happy belated bday jiayi^^. then cake tasted really nice, too bad i didn't play with it sia, too nice liao hehe xD. then sing and sing sing and crap and shouted and watched people whack each other , you know normal stuff xD. missed all that man.. too bad was broke liao by then, kbox so ex -_-

finally finished blogging, i think this is nothing compared to the 2k+ words essay i wrote last year for itc xD. i wonder how many people will read till here..

what do i want with myself? i'm afraid cos i'm so lost. lost about everything. a single decision shall make my life.