well updating again, since my blog has seem to come to a complete standstill as of 15th sep 2008 o.O. dunno why, can't seem to break out of this lifeless mode. feel like i'm underperforming, but tough to find strength. feel like i've exhausted myself, and telling myself i'm not, and continuing.

bloody stressed can. so many things i wanna do but so little time and yet i can't get myself to treasure the time. like hmwk, i still owe the one chi compre which i have already handed up on time last week but got accused of not handing up and not being able to find a copy of the question paper was unable to do again however i found an extra copy today and thus i am able to do the chinese compre now but i have the chao ji ah ma test tml which i have barely started reading oh btw did i mention that lim kim choo say for every late submission will minus marks from exams from my already oh so close to failing chinese !@#$% same goes for LA file, had no idea it was today (i think i'm cramming more into my brain than the desired amount -_-), and marks will be deducted from i don't know what. also i want to learn alot of things, i have alot of dutiesssssssssssssssssss (not just duties as in work -_-). also i wanna help those who are potentially so close to failing the gpa and those who are almost 99.99% sure of failing their gpa. (hey, there's no certainties in life) but wonder how to help ppl when my studies is so freaking like total !@#$% shit now can. the more i rest the more stressed i get can. cos all the work will pile up -_-. if i'm gonna start learning better i better get my stress level down. not helping with learning ability -_- i wonder if i'll get retained if my chinese fail lor. somehow my chinese forever can't be good. must be cos i've never read a nice chinese book before ._. or even a story, english fanfictions and storybooks are alot more interesting la.

stress stress stress. i've been underperforming alot, not doing what i expect myself to do, not up to standard, not enough. (i put more stress on myself for not performing well than for trying my best to perform well -_-) wonder if i should cut my fingers, getting abit long =/ each one got 6-7mm bah =X hai oh well.

wishes.

one more important task before i can rest.