Filled with doubt about everything. i doubt myself. i think that I am wrong. I represents everything about myself. i don't know what to feel or how to feel anymore. I'm not exhausted but i don't feel like doing anything. I don't even know if i care or not anymore. And i don't even feel like getting up anymore. I wish somebody would understand how i feel. To tell me i'm not ok. to notice something wrong. To say that being sad is not ok. And then wait for me to come out of my shell. and listen till i have nothing more to say. Till this day i still rmb you calling me melodramatic when i told you how i felt. and i still think to myself today am i just being melodramatic typing all this. But i am so called 'emo'. Feel myself getting more and more awkward around my friends recently. Is it just me or is it everybody else that maybe we just can't connect that well? that we became a little more closed up. And it really worries me. Am i the only person thinking and worrying how..when we don't treasure our time now to talk and spend time with each other..would we just drift apart. Am i the only one who sees time as being very short? Maybe is cos i'm going army bah. So i see like..time is so much lesser. Maybe i really think too far into the future bah..A while ago i thought i really shld stop making myself miserable. But its still not right i think..

I rmbed this website called sixbillionsecrets. Its a website where people can post their secrets and like..chances are the people you know won't see it? And alot of secrets i see there are really dark and heavy. Seeing how insensitive we all are. and somehow i feel so similar to them. I don't know where else can i share all this with. Maybe what we need is not really counsellors or people who are smart enough to tell us what to do. But people like friends to give enough support and encouragement and care to give us the strength to do what we need to do. People who put in effort to show that they care i guess. If we all did that for each i'm pretty sure the world would be nicer =/

hmm maybe i should change that abit. I think we will need friends who will tell you you are being freaking dumb snap of it those kind ._.

Maybe i really am tired =/.

Amidst this emo post, had an awesome time with squadmates during batam trip and stayover at nicholas house :) Really enjoyed it!