I feel like I have been idling so much -_- been so long since I really tried very hard for something, since i struggled for something. I think the last would be my ippt gold and before that my As. I just feel that with all my thoughts and dreams, I haven't really done much yet. Actually i think i haven't done anything yet -_-. And sometimes feel very sian like don't really have similar age friends who share the same aspirations as me. So like kinda lonely and sian. Maybe one of the reasons i wanted to join ctpclp was this. Which reminds me all of a sudden i need to write an essay rawrs and need to do some stuff for rtsr ._. I have to write two 2 page essays for the ctpclp all of a sudden -_- and nobody told me i found out by checking the website by chance zz. and i applied over a month ago! Been so long since i written and the essays aren't exactly very easy to write =/. Do seriously hope i can get in though! Please stop procrastinating wee teck -_-

I need to run and lose weight too rawrs. But plans always don't turn out well always just nua at home. Getting very very lazy argh. Think i'm still a little socially awkward -_- sometimes just don't feel very comfortable around people abit, sigh takes a while for me to be normal.

I really dislike alcohol. I feel like my body is rejecting alcohol now drink abit only like at most for awhile feel my reflexes becoming slower. Then after that really feel crappy, I don't really feel like vomitting but when i think about alcohol i seriously feel like vomitting -_-. In the past was fine then it became i smell alcohol i feel like vomitting then now rawrs. I already cancelled out almost all forms of alcohol except wine lol. I haven't really tried wine yet. I think this is to like rid me of curiousity and i'll really never ever touch alcohol again except when neccessary. Why on earth do people like to drink?! I also can't stand clubbing. Though i'm already bias from the start i guess and i'm not the type of person who will actually enjoy club la ._. but i just can't stand the moral values there. The molestation(to put it very clearly and crudely hor) in the name of fun? Doing whatever the heck you want to each other when you're drunk? Am i being very old fashion to feel that this is wrong? Or am i just some unfun person -_-. Kinda hard to hold on to what you believe in when the influence around you is like that. And you feel very powerless to change things ppl just do what they want. And the sort of influence we exert on the younger people. Like that ASEAN scholar who feels no remorse over his sex blog and he's supposed to be a role model sigh.

I think Singapore has a very loud minority and silent majority. And i think the loud minority is making them seem like what the sentiment of a Singaporean is. And its influencing the younger ppl too. K all of sudden I feel like my blog has grown up alot from talking to just about my life to Singapore issues -_-. But i think i do need to get this off my chest. Maybe i should talk bout this more if the occasion arises in real life -_-.

Somehow I must improve =/