Then another thing was that I was cycling on a minor road thats going to join with a major road. So i had to stop eventually or i'm just going to dash out into the major road and get run over by a car and really die ._. Luckily + thank God then dog eventually gave up (maybe they couldn't keep sprinting for long or maybe their owner called them i heard a voice o.o). I was nearing the major road already damn scaryyyy. I was thinking what would i do if i really had to fight the dogs ._. If i ended having some bite on my calf my parents are going to screw me when i go home -_-. But on the other hand after i thought about it I would probably get some like 2 weeks MC which isn't exactly a bad thing xD. It was damn scary and quite exciting lol. Now i finally understand why some people are scared of dogs ._. Interesting day off lol.
I haven't been thinking about things or reflecting in a long time. Ok i'm always thinking about things but never really reflecting deep ._.
I think I still have a low level of confidence, but I guess i'm already changing for the better. Sometimes I get insecure about losing my friends, especially the closest ones. And can't help being paranoid about whether i'm wrong somewhere. In the past ( and to a certain extent now) to one person I felt like I was playing a game, to say the right words to elicit a good response. Of course I think it that really turned out disastrously. Even now its sometimes hard to breakout of it.
Realised its really hard to understand and connect with people as I grew older. I have no idea if its me or just people ._. Do people get more complex and just want to be understood and known less? I find it especially a dilemma to get close to people, especially girls. Not that i feel particularly socially awkward but i think girls around my age if somebody starts to talk to them/msg frequently they would think that you are interested? And if they aren't interested they would probably ignore you ._. But then girls wouldn't want to send wrong signals to guys anyway(Am i being prejudiced?) And I think guys would think its creepy and that you are gay lol. (Again I hope i'm not being too biased ._.) It really seemed second nature to talk and get close with people when I was younger. People seemed to care less about all these sort of..consequences? And just interact freely. Or maybe I really am becoming socially awkward -_-.